Black stylists unable to do natural hair?

Backstory: I spent most of my life being one of those black girls with processed hair by default, meaning I had no say in the matter. My hair was processed when I was a little girl. At age 25 I decided to stop processing my hair after realizing that my feelings were really hurt when a hairdresser said that I had “the nappiest hair of the bunch." I knew I was too old to still be so impacted, and therefore I set out to love my hair.

After moving to Arizona a year later, I cut my hair off and processed it once again because of the dry climate. I was scared to deal with my natural hair in general, and the new climate proved to be too much of a challenge at the time. A year and a half ago I stopped processing it once again, but wore protective hairstyles in which my transitioning hair was tucked away. About a month ago I cut off my relaxed ends and I've been on the hunt for a hairstylist that can shape my natural hair into a beautiful fro. A stylist that would not try to convince me to relax my hair or make comments about my thick hair texture. I am working once again on loving my coils and do not want any back slides in that process from a trusted stylist.

What I am discovering on my search is that the hair I was born with is too difficult even for lots of black hair stylists that were likely born with or born into a family with similar hair. My initial thoughts: We have grown so accustomed to relaxing our hair, that some licensed stylists with upwards of 25 years of work experience only know how to work with relaxed hair. I was told "Good luck" by one “experienced” stylist on my search for someone that could cut, shape and style my natural hair.

I have many feelings about this topic and experience. I'll name a few. 

1) While I respect the honesty and integrity of women who advise me that they do not work with natural hair, It brings me back to childhood when my hair was considered “too thick” or “too nappy” by everyone from family to neighborhood hair salons. Though I know better now, I couldn't help the brief feeling of once again not being good enough because I didn't have "good hair.”

2) As black people, has our identity been so lost that people we lean on to care for us (licensed professionals) don't even know how to without changing or processing of some sort? What does this say about us? I truly cannot imagine a stylists of any other race that would be unable to do the natural born hair of others with that same racial background. I could be wrong, I just don't think it's likely. 

3) While I am well aware that there is a whole natural hair community and that if I keep searching, I will certainly find the right fit, I can't help but to think that finding a black stylist is already a challenge. Learning that once you find a black stylist, you should not automatically expect that they will be able to do your natural hair, takes a little bit getting used to. 

Open discussion: What has been your experience with your hair?