A message to Allies

Allyship: a lifelong process of building relationships based on trust, consistency, and accountability with marginalized individuals and/or groups of people. It is not self-defined—work and efforts must be recognized by those you are seeking to ally with.

If I am being honest, I have a hard time with allies. I struggle with wondering whether or not people who aren’t black can even remotely understand how I feel. I don’t have the energy to explain to another white person what white privilege is. I’ve lost a “friend” because of this same subject. But what I recently accepted is that we cannot do it alone. Shout out to the white people in Kentucky who stood in a line to block the cops from protestors. Not everyone can put their body on the line. There are several other things you can do to support us.

Don’t let your silence be mistaken for complicity.

Let the black people you love know that you know their lives matter.

Don't pretend you’re just as upset as we are.

Don’t make comparisons to any hardship you’ve been through.

Listen.

Ask how you can best support us.

Donate to the bail funds of the protestors, directly to Black Lives Matter and other organizations that support us.

Don’t only focus on the looting.

Don’t get offended or upset when we can’t talk, go out, or socialize while we are grieving.

Don’t say racist things about black people and then try to make us feel better by telling us you are not talking about us (the black person you love) because we are “different.” .

Don’t say you don’t see color. I know what you mean when you say that. I know it’s usually means you see us all as equal. To most of us though, saying you don’t see color means you don’t see us. You don’t see the problem. If you don’t see the problem then you can’t be a part of the solution.

Check and correct your friends and family members when they use hate speech displaying racism whether overt or covert.

Lastly, Stand with us publicly! Love us out loud or not at all.

#BlackLivesMatter #StopKillingUs

blog used for definition above: https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/allyship

Additional resources:

https://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/mcintosh.pdf

https://www.sceneonradio.org/seeing-white/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/shereeatcheson/2018/11/30/allyship-the-key-to-unlocking-the-power-of-diversity/#3510ebef49c6