How to talk to children about race & racism
I was asked recently by a friend of mine to weigh in on how to explain racial injustice to children. I would like to begin by saying, I am not a parent. I have not brought any children into this world and I am not currently raising any on a full time basis. All advice or suggestions are offered humbly and respectfully.
I have done some research as of late and I have read repeatedly that it is never too early to begin having conversations with children about race. We think that a child’s innocence means they don’t see color or notice the differences between them and their peers, but they recognize it earlier than we think. What the children in your life think about these differences is something you have the power to influence.
Your children will overhear and learn things from television, other family members, daycare and school, their friends, and the internet that may or may not be true. It is imperative that your voice should be the primary source of information during the different stages of their development.
First and foremost, I suggest educating yourself about issues by using reputable resources, and determining what you want to share with your children.
I believe you should have a diverse collection of toys and books available, as a child should see themselves and others in the things they enjoy playing with and feel just as comfortable with representation of other races.
I would also suggest diversifying their television programming choices. My two year old niece loves watching cartoons in different languages, I think it’s adorable!
What you encourage and promote in your household matters! Children should learn at an early age and recognize that different cultures, languages, accents, skin tones and hair textures are beautiful. Not more beautiful than them of course, but just as beautiful.
Don’t shy away from the conversation. Acknowledge our differences and compliment them.
If you are a white parent you should talk to your children about fair treatment, compassion for all and standing up to those who are spewing hatred. Make the values of your household clear and demonstrate them so that they see your words in action. We all know children will model what they SEE. Talking isn’t enough.
If your child gets wind of issues that result in the various methods of protesting, it is okay to explain what injustice is. To explain that people are fighting for their lives because others don’t think they are worthy of them.
Children are naturally curious so they may ask why certain things are happening. Begin with an age appropriate truth about issues such as slavery, discrimination, or racism. You should even talk about how this land was taken from Native Americans and that (if you aren’t Native) all people migrated here one way or another. Highlight the fact that African Americans did not have a choice to come to America and that we have been oppressed and fighting for equality ever since.
Sounds like a lot? That’s because it is! The conversations should be ongoing. One conversation about race isn’t going to do it.
Children should hear about this just as much as they would hear about other aspects of fairness, kindness and safety.
There is a lot of truth, along with falsehoods, that your children WILL learn one way or another. Use your best judgement and the assistance of a child psychologist about how much they can understand but don’t avoid it because it’s difficult.
Choose courage over comfort!
Do your research! So many parents have had this discussion. You aren’t alone.
Here are some helpful books and resources to get you started:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_f2lGrv44o
https://www.embracerace.org/resources/26-childrens-books-to-support-conversations-on-race-racism-resistance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_f2lGrv44o
https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/573184/talk-kids-race/
Additional resources for white people who are seeking to better understand themselves and/or hoping to make a difference in general :
https://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/mcintosh.pdf
https://www.sceneonradio.org/seeing-white/
*Special thanks to Kelli Cuff who assisted with the resources and verbiage that you see above.